It is almost Halloween, time for goblins, ghosts, haunted houses and horror flicks. I’m guessing that Hollywood’s horror images aren’t really scaring you. We all have fears, but the question is, what are you really afraid of? What is the horror movie playing in your head?
I am not good enough.
I am not thin enough.
I am not attractive enough.
I am not smart enough.
I am not rich enough.
I am not important.
I am not respected.
I am not lovable.
I am not worthy.
I am not enough.
Though spiders and snakes may frighten us, the biggest fears we have are the internal ones. We don’t often show them to the world. We hold them tightly, close to our heart, so no one finds out.
Fear is how our bodies alert us to danger. Fear works by creating within us an emotion that motivates us to do something to avoid danger. It is hardwired into our brains and is helpful for keeping us from being chased by a hatchet wielding killer.
When we are presented with things we fear, our emotional response kicks in. When our fears are internal fears, rather than forcing us to run, we react is more subtle self-preservation ways.
We don’t become close to someone so we won’t get hurt.
We buy things we don’t need or can’t afford to show that we are worthy or rich enough.
We don’t try for the promotion because we probably won’t get it anyway.
We eat our emotions rather than facing them.
We belittle someone to prove to ourselves that we are smart.
We settle for less because it is all we deserve.
We compare ourselves to others. It is a take no prisoners game. There is ALWAYS someone more successful, smarter, richer, or thinner. In comparing ourselves to others we might win a few, but in the end, someone else always wins.
We can’t change other people’s view of us. We don’t control their emotions or behaviors. What other people think of us is less important than what we think of ourselves.
If we don’t feel worthy, our subconscious will prevent us from getting something we want. If we think we are unlovable and dwell on that, then our subconscious believes it is true and responds accordingly. We start to behave in a way that makes us unlovable.
The good news is that we can change the movie in our head, the movie that shows us who we are. The human brain is an incredible instrument, but it cannot distinguish real events from imagine events. What the brain sees is what it acts on. We can stop playing the negative movies.
To overcome our internal fears, we need to look them in the eye. We need to understand what we want, whether it is happiness, prosperity, love or respect and then act on that decision. We need to reframe the fear in terms of who we want to be. We need a new movie.
For today, imagine what might happen if you acted as if you were whatever you want to be.
Today, I want to be happy. I notice the beautiful fall colors and the unseasonably warm breeze. I smile at everyone I meet. I do something nice for someone. I laugh with the child down the street and his puppy. I walk with an air of confidence. I do engaging, meaningful work. I connect with those I care about. Guess what? It works.
I am good enough.
I am thin enough.
I am attractive enough.
I am smart enough.
I am rich enough.
I am important.
I am respected.
I am lovable.
I am worthy.
I am enough.
What horror movie is playing in your head? If you don’t like it, create a new movie. It’s your TV, your channel, and ultimately, your life.